Item Left By Distant Relative

Christmas is the only time I see my extended family during the year.  December 25th is not as exciting for me as it is to every other child in America.  Presents are great, (cash is even better), but my weird great aunt and uncle always stay with us for a few days.  It is not as if I live in a vacation destination so I really do not understand why they make the long drive from Harrison County, Texas to Mission Hills, Kansas.  I try to avoid them as much as possible when they stay with us.  My great Uncle Robert is ancient.  I think he looks prehistoric, but in reality he is only 93.  Although he is deaf in his left ear, he is very with it.  I have always considered him a kooky old man, but my mother hates when I say bad things about him.  

My brother hates being around me during this time.  Max is four years my senior and is expected to be more mature and social than me.  He also is always bitter because he thinks he should get more expensive gifts from relatives since he is older, but that never happens.  After the holidays ended, Max found something on the nightstand in our guest room.  It was torn and ragged, something I would most likely would have thrown away.  He brought it to my parents attention and the called me downstairs for a “family meeting,” a thing my Mom is really into lately because of the new parenting book she has been reading.  Needless to say, I was pissed that I had to be there and gave Max a death stare for causing this gathering.

My father looked at us with sad eyes and a gentle smile.  He revealed a darkened yellow piece of cloth with six points.  I knew exactly what is was, but had no idea why it was found in my house.  “Jude” was written in black letters across the star.  My dad began to tell a story about Uncle Robert.  He lived in Germany as a tailor before and during WWII.  His favorite seamstress, Ester, was a young Jew.  After the Nazis came to power and began to send Jews to concentration camps, Robert knew he needed to do something to protect her.  He agreed to let her stay in his basement as long as she stayed there at all times.  As the Nazi party became more powerful and dominant, Ester knew she would need to flee the country if she had any hope of survival.  One night she took off in the cloak of darkness and took all of her remaining possessions.  She left only an army green pea coat behind, an item Robert has since held near and dear to his heart.  Sewn just above the left breast was a yellow Star of David with bold black letters that read “Jude.”

I never knew Uncle Robert hid a person during the Holocaust.  I wanted to know what became of Ester, but my father said Robert never heard from her after she left.  I am going to ask him about it next year for sure.  I never realized all of the historical events he could have been a part of.  The real question is: how did he end up in Texas?

In Memory of Robert Schuster

Bus Stop Outside Apartment Window

I live in a walkup.  My apartment is small and contains little more than a toilet, sink, bed and a minor few possessions.  The bed has only a thin mattress covering a concrete slab, which for an old guy like me, does not do much to help my back.  A red fleece blanket neatly covers it.  The room is simple, but it is not like I have many options, everyone has to make do with the accommodations.  My neighbors are loud and at night can get rowdy.  Sometimes during the day I get together with a few of them downstairs at the indoor courtyard to play cards, or on rare occasions watch a movie.  

I wake up before dawn every day and look out of my window.  My view is obstructed by two vertical metal poles and although they can be distracting, at times they have become invisible to me.  Today I see something unusual.  A white school bus comes to a stop just outside the entrance of our building.  I count as each man steps off the bus.  They all are wearing the same brightly colored jumpsuits and have their hands held behind their backs.  Some are short; some are tall.  Some are heavily tattooed with skin acting like a canvas.  All of the men mean the same thing: more crime, more wrongdoings, more neighbors for me.  

After spotting the bus, men in uniforms came around to do a count at five thirty this morning.  No one was missing so we were allowed to prepare for the day ahead.  I dressed in a fresh set of clothes and combed my hair back.  All of our doors were opened and we left our rooms.  Breakfast this morning consisted of deep yellow scrambled eggs, two tender sausage patties, and buttery stone ground grits.  Morning meals are my favorite because they rarely involve any produce.  The only vegetables I like are corn and potatoes because healthy foods are nasty.  I ate by myself this morning because on every Monday, I eat alone.  My Momma worked all day on Mondays when I was a kid and would not come home until after I was asleep.  She said everybody needed a day to reflect so Mondays were my day.  

My job is in the laundry room.  I was supposed to report there after breakfast, but a female approached me and instructed me to follow her.  She led me into the landlord’s office and he instructed me to take a seat.  He told me something unusual had happened.  I began thinking about what I possibly could have done wrong, but no big incident came to mind.  I was told the detectives who had been working with the police chief on my case had withheld vital evidence that would prove my innocence in court because they needed to reach certain quotas.  I sat in shock and tears started streaming down my face.  Aside from my mother’s funeral, I have never remembered crying.  I gave up the thought of being able to leave this place after my second court appeal failed.  I accepted the idea that this would be my home for life.

My conviction was overturned.  I am a free man.  I gathered my belongings and was lead into a room where I stripped my clothes and put on the outfit I wore here 11 years ago.  I walked out the door knowing I would never return to prison again.  

Im thankful for...

I am thankful for Natalie Zajak because she is awesome.  Everyday she sits in front of me in class and is so funny.  She balances out our group of four (I have no idea what I would do if I was only with John Brown and Nathan.)  That's a joke... When we were writing our first narrative in the tech labs, Natalie started writing her paper about a pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks.  That is pretty wacky.  Natalie brings a breath of fresh air to our class and I can always look foward to seeing her in her too cool girl's lacrosse jacket.  I didn't know Natalie before this class, but I am thankful for having had the opportunity to meet her.  I am thankful that she is typically on the same page with me when it comes to reading British Literature (scared and confused.)  She is a great peer editor and gives good advice, while not insulting my poor writing skills.  I just found out today that Natalie and her parents have duck for Thanksgiving dinner.  I am therefore thankful for her originality.  I also am thankful for John Brown and Nathan Ng because they are goofy, yet intellectual.  They liven up the class for me.  I hope everyone has a really good Thanksgiving and 5 day weekend!

Then he is dead?

Macbeth did some pretty unspeakable things in order to gain power.  The question at hand is: were the crimes/acts he committed worth it?  In the end Macbeth is killed and towards the end of his life, he was consumed with paranoia and anxiety about the killings.  His wife, who was the main supporter of his climb to the throne, died in a probable suicide act.  Honestly, what more did Macbeth have to live for?  Were the benefits of Macbeth's actions worth the rewards?  Seeing how his life ended, I'd say no, but what if it had turned out differently?  What if Macbeth didn't let panic dominate his life?  What if Lady Macbeth hadn't killed herself?  I then think it would have been worth it, well also if he wasn't murdered in the end.  If Macbeth could've lived with himself and accepted his actions after performing them, then I think he would have done a really good thing for his future.  He would have pleased his wife and also would become a very very powerful man.  The problem is you cannot predict the future.  If Macbeth could have known he would be killed in the near future, I don't think he would have made the same decisions he did.  I wonder if the characters of Macbeth and LM think it was worth it.

"From the crown to the toe, top full of direst cruelty"

This quote is said by Lady Macbeth because she is wanting to take the throne and do whatever is necessary to make that happen.  This quote and its surrounding context is about how Lady Macbeth wants to be less of a lady, and more of a cold hearted male.  She implies that women are nurturing and unable to carry out the tasks of men because of this nature.  She says "unsex me here," because she believes that being a woman is what is holding her back from being able to kill Duncan.  I think this is extremely sexist.  Yes, women can be caring mothers, but that doesn't mean it is true in all cases, nor is it true that all men are void of feelings.  Thinking like a man does not mean thinking like a killer.  Shakespeare casts women in stereotypical roles, but considering the time at which this was written, I do not find it ridiculous.  I am all for women's rights, but in the 17th century, this was pretty widely accepted.  Women have come a very long way and I think that is why it is hard to read Shakespeare now because he had a low view of women and their capabilities.

No New Tale To Tell

The Wife of Bath's Tale touched upon some timeless points.  Gender equality has always been a heated topic and has become much more widely accepted in the late 20th century and into current day.  In the story the knight had to come before the queen and a panel of women to see if he would be executed or not.  In this situation the females were in control and held the power.  Women have had a very tough time historically when it has come to gender equality.  There had always been expectations of women to be good mothers, cooks, and cleaners.  Women were in charge of domestic duties and men were the ones who had jobs and "brought home the bacon."  Women are now working the same jobs men are.  They are CFOs, CEOs, and billionaire entrepreneurs.  The idea that women can be in charge is still very relevant to modern times.  The knight said that what women want most is to be in control of their husbands and lovers.  I disagree with this point though because I don't think women necessarily want to be the one with all of the power in their relationships.  I think they want a balance of power, but I cannot speak on behalf of all women because everyone has different views and opinons on this.  Although there still isn't equal pay in the workplace for women and men, females have come a very long way in terms of gender equality, which is a point The Wife of Bath's Tale touched upon.    

Truth

When the shaper first goes to Hrothgar's meadhall, Grendel is intrigued by the songs he sings.  Grendel wants to believe what he sings, but after years of watching Hrothgar and his people, it is obvious that the shaper sings of not only truth, but also fiction.  He embellishes and exaggerates stories.  The shaper focuses on the positive things Hrothgar and his men have done, while eliminating the losses and negative parts of the past.  Propaganda is similar to what the shaper does because it gives a biased look on an issue or topic that could be view at from many different angles.  It focuses on a positive element of the topic to try and mask the negatives that come from it.  It can also exaggerate the wrongdoings of an enemy.  Propaganda is frequently used in war, and perhaps most memorably in World War II.  A very iconic example of propaganda posters is that of "Rosie the Riveter."  It was to represent and encourage women who took over factory jobs that men who went to war left behind.  It is hard to identify what is the truth whenever conflict arises because each side has their own perspective and tries to convince as many people as they can that they are right.  The truth can be hard to identify and at times hard to believe.  Grendel knows the shaper sings a mix of truth and lies, but still cannot stop listening.